Wonkless: A Satirical Christmas Tale of Lyme & Consequences


We have obtained exclusive insider reports of a harrowing pre-Christmas journey endured by a longstanding Lyme disease nonprofit leader known by her self-appointed moniker, “Lyme Policy Wonk”.

Ms. LPW, otherwise known as Lorraine Johnson of lymedisease.org, apparently disappeared from Twitter sometime on December 19, after being asked to state her policy position on the new Lyme vaccine from Valneva. Reports indicate that Valneva already has enrolled hundreds of victims for its phase II trials being committed in Rochester, NY and Warwick, RI.

The topic is of great importance to the community of Lymish who have experienced two decades of medical abuse since the release of the original Lyme vaccine, LYMErix, in 1998. LYMErix was pulled off the market in early 2002 after a scandal-laden clinical trial and approval process wherein the death shot was approved with a “stack of provisos” according to one FDA official.

There were also widespread reports of victims having Lyme disease again after getting the OspA injection. A whistleblower explained to the FDA in January 2001 that several prominent scientists had published reports proving that OspA could not be a vaccine because it is immunosuppressive, therefore causing the same chronic disease that people get from the bite of an infected tick.

Lyme Policy Wank and other well known nonprofit leaders such as Pat Smith took credit for the vaccine’s demise, but then refused to discuss the mechanism of disease. Meanwhile, the entire Lyme community, including the incredibly famous International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society (ILADS) turned their backs on the whistleblower and allowed brutal retaliation against her. Another unfortunate result of their cowardice has been the ongoing denial of Lyme as a chronic, disabling condition marked by reactivated, fatigue-causing herpesviruses and the inability to stave off all kinds of opportunistic infections.

Now, in what some would call an instance of Christmas karma, the Lyme Policy Wonk appears to have found herself wonkless. Unofficial reports indicate that after stumbling into a well, LPW was rescued by a band of marauding elves, only to be forced into hard labor building toy trains for children around the world.

According to an elf who asked to remain anonymous, LPW was discovered at the bottom of a well hollering incoherently for Lassie to come home. “She appeared to be in great distress. We had seen her drinking wassail at the Polar Pub, where we elves like to cut loose after a long day’s work. Several hours later, there she was, disheveled and confused, though apparently uninjured. She just kept yelling, ‘Lassie! Rafael! Save me!’”

For those not in-the-know, ‘Rafael’ refers to Rafael “Ray” Stricker, a self-proclaimed “Lyme literate MD”, former ILADS president and HIV specialist. Like LPW, he also has neglected to take a definitive position for or against Valneva’s fake vaccine, which is curious considering his background in HIV/AIDS, another disease that causes immunosuppression and therefore the same viral reactivation and tolerance to opportunistic infections as Lyme.

In a weakly worded statement to the federal tick-borne disease working group, he merely pointed out, “The LYMErix vaccine failed in large part because valid safety concerns were ignored, and future variations of LYMErix that whitewash these concerns risk the same negative outcome.”

Stricker could not be reached for comment, so we are unable to clarify whether, by “safety concerns,” he means the basic concept from organic chemistry of structure predicting function, whereby a fungal type antigen such as OspA, known by its chemical name “tripalmitoyl cysteine”, or “Pam3Cys” can reliably be expected to have the same biologic action no matter what organism (or fake vaccine) delivers it to the human victim.

However, Stricker also stated, alarmingly, “…certainly a vaccine that is safe and effective in avoiding a poor clinical outcome would be welcome,” exposing his shocking lack of knowledge of the very disease in which he claims to be an expert. Of course, despite numerous attempts, there has never been a successful vaccine against an organism that causes illness via antigens with Pam3Cys on them.

LPW, likewise, has avoided taking an unequivocal policy stance, offering only a lame statement about safety concerns, transparency and coinfections. “The last Lyme vaccine that came out had significant safety concerns. The feeling in the community is that whoever is going to be putting together [a vaccine] ought to be dialoguing with the community and ought to be transparent about the process.Ticks can cause co-infections and other diseases and the vaccine may offer a false sense of complacency,” she says.

Harvey, an elf who asked that we use only his first name, expressed dismay at the duo’s ignorance of a disease for which they have long claimed to be experts and advocates. “We’ve had some elves hit hard by Lyme. It’s tough when you have so much occupational exposure to ticks while caring for reindeer in the off season.”

He referred to a quote from Dr. Ben Luft at a 1998 FDA LYMErix meeting: “I would approach that whole issue as to vaccinating someone with a lipoprotein with real caution.”

Harvey added, “Even we lowly worker elves understand that a Lyme vaccine is impossible and will only whack people’s immune system, giving them the same outcome as what people call ‘chronic Lyme.’”

The first elf concurred. “Who do these people think they are? If they are for the patients, as they claim, then they will publicly take a stand in opposition to the development of another fake vaccine that has the potential to harm millions. Why are they leaving this major policy issue unanswered? We elves put our lives on the line every day picking ticks off of Dasher and Dancer. We demand an answer.”

He concluded our interview by confirming that LPW had been released from her forced labor situation due to poor job performance. “I just wonder how she manages to maintain a position of authority in the Lyme world. The so called ‘wonk’ couldn’t tell an engine from a caboose. It’s sad. Really, really sad.”

Categories: Activism, Lyme Disease, Snarktastic, Vaccines

5 replies

  1. A LYMErix:

    There once was a Tick from Nantucket
    Looking for a human to suck it
    It smiled with glee
    as it spit out Osp A and Osp B
    and Filarial Worms to truck it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’d think Stricker, a former HIV expert, would know about immunosuppression and then activated opportunistics,… but he’s never once mentioned either as an outcome of Lyme or LYMErix disease. This is second year pre-med (chem nomenclature being entirely about structure-activity). We dont expect a lawyer to understand how to go about acquiring the scientific truth so, how then can you talk about “policy?” Dont you have to have a valid complaint before talking about a policy. Words. They can be so troublesome.

    Liked by 1 person

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