Free Will and Hope

I’m no philosopher…I’m no therapist…but I have enough life experience to know that hope is a choice.

I know that cancer patients who are given mere months to live often choose to hope rather than go willingly toward that somber destiny.

I know that many of the HIV-AIDS crisis victims and their loved ones chose to hope that enough people would see the inhumanity of the situation to spur some kind of change.

I know that “chronic Lyme disease” is a very serious immune deficiency disease, and despite the denial of this fact by just about everyone who has a duty to address it, I choose to hope that science will prevail and people will get the help they need.

Hope is a familiar theme in the Lyme world. In many cases, it’s all people have left. They’ve been stripped of their dignity, on top of having spent their last cent on ineffective treatments. In our world, hope comes dressed in many disguises: this guru or that one; this book or that protocol; this nonprofit with the big gala, or the one with “big data.”

I choose to derive hope not from these intangible promises of healing, but from something entirely tangible: scientific rigor.

It’s simple, actually. Science has explained the disease mechanism, and has demonstrated it in multiple parallels–which is a requirement of the scientific method. Spirochetes stealth-bomb the immune system with fungal gunk from their outer surface. It’s a model that repeats with other types of infections. Scientific fact. We know that “chronic Lyme” is post-sepsis; therefore we know the right questions to ask in seeking validation and cures.

A dear friend recently told me, “You are great at everything you do.” It was a wonderful compliment, but the caveat is that I’m great at what I choose to do. I have been at death’s door; I have been bankrupt and on the verge of homelessness. I have been through the Lyme wringer, and I have learned that “chronic Lyme” scientifically, factually, sucks even worse than we were all told. Still, I choose to hope that reality can be catching. I choose to hope, and I choose to be an absolute freaking expert at hoping.

To me, only truth bears hope. Truth is raw, distasteful, sometimes shocking, and can even be dispiriting, at first. But it doesn’t wear disguises, doesn’t make false promises, and doesn’t cost a thing.

We all have the power to choose hope, and we all have the free will to choose what to hope for.

Hope well, my friends.

May we all be blessed this holiday season with a sense of peace, a few moments of joy, and the will to hope for better times for all of us.


If you or a loved one are having thoughts of suicide, PLEASE seek help from a licensed professional.

Categories: Lyme Disease

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7 replies

  1. Thank you for posting this. Trying to keep having hope.I am trying my way and sending the water contamination as the cause of it all including ticks/mosquitoes/all biting insects to be a response to this including the millions infected without any bites. SO yes the CDC, EPA, responded quickly by issuing “no more comments”. I send faxes and supportive evidence to 5 senators. Feinstein is the only one that appeared to have done something. If I will be well enough I will finish my small staph aureus Gram neg research and make a smaller version and hand that out in the Midwest of Minnesota where this is rampant (people/pets getting Lyme type diseases without any ticks. Yes I called the Minnesota dept of Health and told them if they will not acknowledge this community acquired pneumonia soon I will do it for them. I also linked it to the large number of TB in that area which they of course blame on immigrants not being vaccinated. Hell people are so gullible and believe that too. Is there anything else I can do. Yes I will also send a copy to all the persons I know. I will also include that former president Bush was treated for 6 months and as a preventative measure so was his wife Barb. A senator was also treated for one year and was able to get scripts from different drs because they know it has to be long term (better outcome). The “normal” people do not matter , well that is nothing knew anyways. Is there anything else I can do ?


  2. Wonderful post. It put me in a good mood. I had few bad lyme days on holiday eve and yesterday. The weather does not help either.
    For me these days help me realize how I chose to attempt to get better, meaning functional. But it does not work all the times.
    I Thank You Beau for making these posts. I asked again in another post how can I help? How can I be one of the people that could keep that hope alive?
    Best Greetings of Holiday wishes.


    • Hi Diana, thank you. I’m glad to have made a positive impact. The best thing anyone can do is learn the science well enough to teach it to others. At some point, nobody will be able to deny what this disease really is.


      • yes…..I agree. This is what I am doing through your blog. I fwd these to many people as well j7st to see who actually reads them and replies to me. Most times i totally get ignored. Other times i get one reply out of 30 contacts i sent it. So what I do is …i inform people when i can get the audidince captive.
        This is why this awful abuse continues. Most people do not seem to care even those who are touched by the disease. IThis form of purposely ignore the truth upsets me very much.


  3. Your posts never fail to give me goosebumps and bring tears…of joy…
    Thank you for the inspiration…and HOPE!

    Happiest of holidays to you, with gratitude and love.

    Liked by 1 person

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