I started this Seussish poem the other day, got distracted, and didn’t finish. I guess I had more important things to do, like fight with Wix over where the sidebar menu should show up in the mobile view at www.truthcures.org.
If I were a lyme crook
If I were a Lyme crook, who would I be?
Allen, or Gary, or Barbara JB?
Oh so many to choose from, demons galore!
Too many Lyme crooks in the Lyme lore.
Alan Barbour, you say, is a fine choice of crook?
Let me see, let me see now; let’s have a look.
He patents, and patents, and patents away
But are Borrelia to blame for your ills? No way!
Paul Gisbert Auwaerter of Johns Hopkins fame?
No way could his work and his life both be lame!
He’s a specialist, you know, in Lyme and EBV
Would you like some psych for your arthritic knee?
That was fun, but tonight I’ve just had a conversation with my friend Vidar, from Norway, and I’m really not sure I can finish this piece of poetic citizen’s arrest.
See, I have to add ILADS to the mix, and it’s messing with my rhyming mojo.
Horowitz, I reckon, is a great crook to be
Except that he’s a foot shorter than me
No, no, no…it’s all wrong.
Richard Horowitz, LLMD
Will say, “You’ve got Lyme!” for just a small fee
“Come to my conference in upstate N-Y
We’ll do yoga and doxy, now pay me, buh-bye!”
Hmm, getting closer. I don’t know how to make this rhyme, though:
ILADS charges doctors for membership and “training.”
ILADS returns the favor by referring patients to these doctors, the great majority of whom do not accept insurance.
Some of these doctors charge $2,000 or more for an initial visit.
These doctors insist on expensive lab testing through Igenex, whose owner was also one of the founders of…you guessed it: ILADS! http://www.ilads.org/campaign/nickharris.php
Wait…what??? That’s right. These guys have their own little (not little) racketeering organization. And it’s helped by IDSA having a deservedly rotten reputation.
Bonus bucks: Buy Horowitz’s book and remain in the dark about why you’re sick and why you can’t get better. (We provide all of that for free on truthcures.org, actionlyme.org, crymedisease.com, and elsewhere…so you don’t need to spend money on silly books or memberships such as https://botaborrelia.wordpress.com/2017/03/01/bota-borrelia-cure-lyme-valkommen-vidas-welcome-vidas/)
Exactly HOW you can get better remains a mystery because of these ILADS/astroturf/fake nonprofit/real (but clueless) nonprofit orgs actually doing nothing to advance any real understanding of the disease process. But go ahead and give them money so you can be soothed into a state of hopeful complacency.
We rag on the IDSA crooks day in and day out, but these ILADS crooks hardly ever get the recognition that they truly deserve.
Oh Richard, oh Nick, you had us at Hello!
Tell us right now how much money we should blow!
Ten thousand or more, a second–no, third! mortgage you say?
We shall kiss your feet and wish our Lyme right away!
What we have here is a situation that looks an awful lot like a contrived controversy. I mean, the Crook Crooks more often tell us what the disease is, than do these ILADS clowns. You have ILADS pushing truckloads of antibiotics (and buy our books, please), while people like Alan Barbour drop little clue turdlets like this one, where he revealed that he knows it’s all just post-sepsis syndrome:
“Barbour said research into tests and treatments could aid not only those with Lyme and post-treatment syndrome but also those who now seem to be showing long-term consequences from Ebola and other infections.”
And Barbour is a scientific advisor for the Bay Area Lyme Foundation. How freaking messed up is that? The guy who insists, ridiculously, that Borrelia burgdorferi are distinct from relapsing fever Borrelia, who owns more frivolous TBD patents than anyone, comes right out and admits that “post-Lyme” AIDS is like post-Ebola AIDS…and the BALF is letting him lead them down a phony mouse research trail.
I seriously have to wonder if all these douchebags are in cahoots together, spinning a narrative of “controversy” while the desperate patients throw away their life savings on Crooks with Books. There are the Crook Crooks making money on the bad Lyme tests, while the Book Crooks are making money on the not-quite-as-bad Lyme tests, and as a sort of “combat pay,” they also get to collect their exorbitant fees from us annoying sick people who are always complaining about something….Gaaaawd. 🙄
It’s a crook with a book! Try it, you’ll see
A crook with a book tops a crook who does knee!
But I don’t like crook books, don’t you know
Crooks and their books, they’re no substance–all show!
Try it, try it, you’ll like it, I say!
Try the crook book for ten dollars; feel good right away!
No, not for me, not my knee, in a tree, with a bee, for a fee,
No, I won’t pay, not ever, not today
Crooks and their books can go suck it, I say!
Categories: Lyme Disease