The Other Crooks and Their Books

I started this Seussish poem the other day, got distracted, and didn’t finish. I guess I had more important things to do, like fight with Wix over where the sidebar menu should show up in the mobile view at


If I were a lyme crook
If I were a Lyme crook, who would I be?

Allen, or Gary, or Barbara JB?

Oh so many to choose from, demons galore!

Too many Lyme crooks in the Lyme lore.



Alan Barbour, you say, is a fine choice of crook?

Let me see, let me see now; let’s have a look.

He patents, and patents, and patents away

But are Borrelia to blame for your ills? No way!



Paul Gisbert Auwaerter of Johns Hopkins fame?

No way could his work and his life both be lame!

He’s a specialist, you know, in Lyme and EBV

Would you like some psych for your arthritic knee?



That was fun, but tonight I’ve just had a conversation with my friend Vidar, from Norway, and I’m really not sure I can finish this piece of poetic citizen’s arrest.
See, I have to add ILADS to the mix, and it’s messing with my rhyming mojo.


Horowitz, I reckon, is a great crook to be

Except that he’s a foot shorter than me



No, no, no…it’s all wrong.



Richard Horowitz, LLMD

Will say, “You’ve got Lyme!” for just a small fee

“Come to my conference in upstate N-Y

We’ll do yoga and doxy, now pay me, buh-bye!”



Hmm, getting closer. I don’t know how to make this rhyme, though:


ILADS charges doctors for membership and “training.”

ILADS returns the favor by referring patients to these doctors, the great majority of whom do not accept insurance.

Some of these doctors charge $2,000 or more for an initial visit.

These doctors insist on expensive lab testing through Igenex, whose owner was also one of the founders of…you guessed it: ILADS!



Wait…what??? That’s right. These guys have their own little (not little) racketeering organization.  And it’s helped by IDSA having a deservedly rotten reputation.
Bonus bucks: Buy Horowitz’s book and remain in the dark about why you’re sick and why you can’t get better. (We provide all of that for free on,,, and elsewhere…so you don’t need to spend money on silly books or memberships such as


Exactly HOW you can get better remains a mystery because of these ILADS/astroturf/fake nonprofit/real (but clueless) nonprofit orgs actually doing nothing to advance any real understanding of the disease process. But go ahead and give them money so you can be soothed into a state of hopeful complacency.
We rag on the IDSA crooks day in and day out, but these ILADS crooks hardly ever get the recognition that they truly deserve.

Oh Richard, oh Nick, you had us at Hello!

Tell us right now how much money we should blow!

Ten thousand or more, a second–no, third! mortgage you say?

We shall kiss your feet and wish our Lyme right away!

What we have here is a situation that looks an awful lot like a contrived controversy. I mean, the Crook Crooks more often tell us what the disease is, than do these ILADS clowns. You have ILADS pushing truckloads of antibiotics (and buy our books, please), while people like Alan Barbour drop little clue turdlets like this one, where he revealed that he knows it’s all just post-sepsis syndrome:

“Barbour said research into tests and treatments could aid not only those with Lyme and post-treatment syndrome but also those who now seem to be showing long-term consequences from Ebola and other infections.”


And Barbour is a scientific advisor for the Bay Area Lyme Foundation. How freaking messed up is that? The guy who insists, ridiculously, that Borrelia burgdorferi are distinct from relapsing fever Borrelia, who owns more frivolous TBD patents than anyone, comes right out and admits that “post-Lyme” AIDS is like post-Ebola AIDS…and the BALF is letting him lead them down a phony mouse research trail.



I seriously have to wonder if all these douchebags are in cahoots together, spinning a narrative of “controversy” while the desperate patients throw away their life savings on Crooks with Books. There are the Crook Crooks making money on the bad Lyme tests, while the Book Crooks are making money on the not-quite-as-bad Lyme tests, and as a sort of “combat pay,” they also get to collect their exorbitant fees from us annoying sick people who are always complaining about something….Gaaaawd. 🙄


It’s a crook with a book! Try it, you’ll see

A crook with a book tops a crook who does knee!

But I don’t like crook books, don’t you know

Crooks and their books, they’re no substance–all show!

Try it, try it, you’ll like it, I say!

Try the crook book for ten dollars; feel good right away!

No, not for me, not my knee, in a tree, with a bee, for a fee,

No, I won’t pay, not ever, not today

Crooks and their books can go suck it, I say!


Categories: Lyme Disease

23 replies

  1. Oooooo….wowww :O May I put a link to this beautiful poem on my blog?


  2. Amazing, “let’s not listen because I don’t like your attitude.”
    There is a reason for the ” attitude “. Liers and crooks, belittled, robbed of money, dignity, belief of family and friends by the white robed priests of the medical establishment. Left to rot except for the Heroes here at these web sites. Why the attitude? Why the anger?
    Cause we are pissed off. And, personally, I love it. I’m so damn angry about the Twilight Zone that I and every other
    victim lives in. You know, the world where the Bright People just seem either more and more stupid or more and more evil. And I’m beginning to believe it’s evil. And that’s nothing to laugh at.

    Liked by 1 person


    Liked by 1 person

  4. A crook with a book who may or may not give knee

    Versus a would-be poet who couldn’t quite see

    The truth is ‘tween, not such extremities of keen

    But, oh poet who mocks, now who’s being extreme?


    • Thanks, Elaine. I have facts, and my poems actually rhyme, so…G’day!


      • Beaux, you don’t have a monopoly on facts, you’re entitled to your own view on your poems, and must be mindful that some may view you as an extremist – dangerous to their well-being. Your facts must have informed you that a lot remains unknown about Australian circumstances, so you cannot be more informed than anyone else. What you put out you must always be willing to receive. Let’s-All-Giggle-Now – chosen because I found your extremism very silly.


      • FACTS are verifiable, and borreliae are borreliae. So unless and until you know what the disease is, don’t pretend to be just as informed as those of us who know the science and back up everything we say. If that is “extreme” then stay out of it.


      • Beaux, you’ve just confirmed that you are not fully aware of the extent of the issues or the debate. Vector competency studies have not yet been conducted on the recent novel strain of borrelia found in 2016, so my point partly is that you can’t know facts about what is yet to be researched. You are tainted with an arrogance which does the discussion no favours.


      • You clearly have no idea what you’re talking about, so you’d better just stop, Elaine. Read up on what borrelia are and what they do. And LDA info does not count. Try some textbooks.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Beaux, I’m very well read on the topic of Borreliosis and I have the privilege of being able to speak with some scientific folk who are at the forefront of the Australian scene. I understand your position and even find merit in some of it but find your zealot approach detracts from your credibility. You, on the other hand, have completely missed my point because my point was about your generalised mockery of a group of people which includes treating physicians. You need to set aside your main argument and read a bit about the global situation. By the way, I doubt your knowledge of immunology is as broad as you imagine it to be.


      • Give it up, lady. My mockery is of the ILADS organization, which obviously has duped many good doctors into a bad society. And you’re the only one here trying to prove who’s smarter, so what does that say? Just get over yourself and get out of the way.


      • I only kept responding because you were rude enough to refer to me by my actual name, rather than my response name. I would have been happy to leave the conversation after my little original jest otherwise. You’re extraordinarily rude, Beaux. I’m not playing a game of who’s smarter but you’ve certainly won the game of who’s ruder.


      • Leave a rude comment, get a rude answer. Now, what have we learned? If you have nothing substantive to add to a conversation, don’t say it. You’ve just admitted that you wanted to drop a rude turd and run. Not cool, and no, I don’t let people get away with that on MY blog. So don’t bother coming back, and good luck discovering on your own how spirochetes cause disease.


    • << How's this for a rude fact, eh? 1995, Durland and McSweegan conspiring how to trash Karen Forschner of the Lyme Foundation because in their scientific journal some scientist reported Lyme in Australia. So, Lets-All-Giggle-Now is a wannabe useless fool obstructing progress for her own selfish purposes. She clearly has nothing to add to the undertaking (the prosecution).


  5. A crook with a book tops a crook who does knee! Best line ever! Lol

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Beaux, Oh Beaux, I did NOT know, such a poet you could be.
    To mark the plight a Lymie takes, from sea to shinging sea.
    Lest we forget the others who living clear across the Pond,
    Ticks also bit, then grit alit, with whom now we share a bond.

    I could go on all night with a couple more verses, but I am going on almost a week with very little sleep!)

    Liked by 2 people

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